posted in Parenting
Did you know that the moment a child emerges from your womb you immediately develop an insatiable taste for wine?
First, you’ll replace the coasters on your coffee table with ones made of wine corks. Before long you’ll be running your weekend errands donning a sweatshirt emblazoned with the phrase “Rosé All Day.” And on your next birthday your friends will gift you with an oversized wine glass that you’ll promise to bring along on your next play date (because it’s funny that moms need wine to endure play dates).
If this concept sounds bizarre, you’re not alone. More so, it’s actually insulting. We can’t handle motherhood without a slight buzz? The idea of a wine mom simultaneously dismisses the real struggles facing moms while essentially trying to forge a sense of unity built on mutual alcohol consumption. “Oh, you also have a child and love wine? I’m not alone!”
Internet searches reveal endless memes, Pinterest boards and blog posts dedicated to the seemingly hilarious relationship between moms and wine. On Etsy alone you can shop among 653 new mom wine bottle labels to give as a shower present. Yes, preemptive wine gifts for pregnant women.
Look, I enjoy wine. A normal, average amount. Though for some reason it’s become a socially acceptable cliche that the only way to “survive” motherhood is with copious amounts of it. A sober mom is a stressed mom, and drinking wine makes it all better.
It makes sense in theory. Parenthood is stressful. You are sleep deprived on a level not usually known beyond wartime torture. Your hormones are doing backflips and pouring out of your body in the form of night sweats.
And if you and your partner survive the first six months without a blowout fight, the extent of which has never been seen nor heard in your home prior to that moment…well, you should be writing the next bestselling relationship guide. Because fights among new parents can be epic.
We’re all in need of ways to relax and reduce that stress, and a glass of wine can and often does help. One singular glass. Maybe two. Not eight, and certainly not opening a wine bottle at noon.
Please know this isn’t a personal attack against moms who enjoy wine. I’m a mom and I drink wine on occasion. My concern is with the bigger picture: That it’s now a societal norm to minimize moms down to simply a group of women who can only endure the day by waiting for “wine o’clock” to offer salvation.
What are we really saying here?
1. Parenthood drives you to drink. As moms, we can’t handle our children without an alcohol-induced impairment.
2. In order to be a “cool mom” you need to love wine. If you are struggling to make mom friends you obviously need to practice uncorking bottles. On the playground. At noon.
3. A mother’s struggle can be solved with wine. To me, that’s dismissive. Our issues as moms are real. Joking that wine can solve problems diminishes the severity of things like postpartum depression.
4. It’s funny to get drunk…as long as it’s a wine drunk. Sure, you can drink all the wine you want. It’s even cute if you put it in a coffee cup as a disguise. Just don’t think about touching a whiskey bottle because that would be a problem.
5. Alcoholism is funny. Except it’s not; it’s a disease.
6. It’s okay to drink excessively while you are responsible for a tiny, vulnerable human. No part of this is safe or okay.
7. Moms are nothing more than women who can’t get by without a glass of wine. We are all the things that comprise motherhood and the other areas of our life as well. We are partners. Professionals. Friends, sisters, daughters, philanthropists and a million other wonderful things that make up the quilt of our identities. Why do we reduce ourselves to a meme of a woman who needs to chug from a wine glass at the end of each day?
It’s time to stop. The joke isn’t funny. Moms are superheroes and worth celebrating. We made humans with our bodies, even Wonder Woman hasn’t done that.
Now that would be a meme I’d like to see.
For more of my mom shenanigans follow me on Instagram at Witty Otter.
What do you think of wine mom jokes? Do you think they are harmless fun or undercutting women?
Photo credit: Becky Vieira
The post Confession: I'm not a "wine mom" (and the jokes really aren't so funny) appeared first on BabyCenter Blog.