posted in Pregnancy
At 38 weeks along with my fourth child, I’m so pregnant I don’t remember not being pregnant. I’m so pregnant I wake up every day wondering, is this the day?
I’m so pregnant, my appetite shrunk to one rivaling that of my 4-year-old daughter, who eats like a bird. One chicken nugget is too much.
I’m so pregnant, I no longer sleep, because I have to get up to pee every hour. Except for that night I got up four times in one hour. I guess the baby was lounging on my bladder with an umbrella drink.
I’m so pregnant I get tired by lunchtime. Sometimes earlier. And then I’m thinking, this day isn’t over yet? WTF?
I’m so pregnant, I need to wear a tent to leave the house.
I’m so pregnant, I have accepted that my fingers look like sausages.
I’m so pregnant, I hesitate to make plans, even for tomorrow, because I don’t know if I’ll be in labor or not.
I’m so pregnant, my kids have to help me get off the couch. And if I sit on the floor to play with them, I’ll strategize how to get back up. Hands, knees, left foot, right foot, press up with hands, grunt, stand, sigh.
I’m so pregnant, I have a double everything, including chin.
I’m so pregnant, shaving my legs is a serious workout.
I’m so pregnant, people stare at me when we go out to dinner. Like, is she okay?
I’m so pregnant, I get a constant flow of texts, emails and calls asking me if I have any baby news.
I’m so pregnant, I no longer care if my shirt covers my belly. Whatever.
I’m so pregnant, I cut my kids in line to use the bathroom. “Mommy has to go worse than you, I promise.”
I’m so pregnant, I feel like my baby is going to fall out when I pee.
I’m so pregnant, I feel like I am going to be pregnant FOREVER. I’ll be the first woman in history to be pregnant for a year; no, for two years. Or just for all time.
Okay, your turn. Finish this sentence: I’m so pregnant, I…?
Photos: Melissa Willets, Flickr