posted in Pregnancy
Don;t ask me to explain the logic of a heavily pregnant lady. I’m eight months pregnant myself and I don’t understand it. What is it about sleepless nights, shooting groin pain, and carrying around an extra fifty pounds that can make a person so angry?
Oh, wait. Probably all of those things…in addition to hemorrhoids, hair growing in unspeakable places, and the feeling your circulation is being compromised if a piece of fabric even touches your skin.
The last few weeks of pregnancy are rough for any expectant mother, and I am no exception.
My pregnancy aversion to one person (my husband) has turned into a pregnancy aversion of all people. I don’t care who you are or how I know you, you are probably going to screw up my life somehow, and I will cry about it later. It feels a little like being an irrational 3-year-old trapped in the insanely uncomfortable body of a woman in her mid-thirties. It’s awesome.
Generally, I am one of those people who are like Buddy in the movie Elf. You know, annoyingly upbeat and optimistic. When asked why I smile so much, I can totally see myself saying, “I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” Seriously, I usually love all people to a fault. But now that I am huge and emotional, I want to throat punch everyone.
Don’t put enough veggies in my Chipolte burrito? I will harm you. Not responding to my Facebook message immediately (after you clearly have opened it)? We are no longer friends. Make my EXTRA HOT decaf mocha room temperature? You don’t even want to know.
These are all real things that have happened in the last week. I don’t know what it is about the remaining months of pregnancy, but if my day doesn’t go exactly as planned (which it never does) my whole world falls apart.
And, if you happen to be forced to interact with me do so with caution because this big momma ain’t taking no crap from nobody.
I really hope I am not alone here. Please tell me pregnancy has turned you into a monster too.
Has pregnancy ever given you a people aversion?
Photos by iStock