My Story: As a SuperMum:
Every day as I watch my three children grow, I reflect on my most important career choice, the day I became a mum. Like other women, I’ve struggled to find a work, life, home and family balance, but the good news is I found a solution. I try to stop being a Super Mum (or Bat Mum). There are mums who try to be all things to all people and come up short in all the wrong areas.
Today’s mums must learn to prioritise and ask for support. We must focus not only on our families but on taking care of ourselves. Our lives come in seasons, and I find that when I’m stretched too thin, I’m not effective at anything. Taking time for myself is a win-win for the whole family.
As mums, once we have our priorities in line, we can then be more productive in other areas of our lives. For me, these include my family, my friends and having some release and independence to be me. I think we can have it all, just not all at once.
We are loving mums to the children, cooks, cleaners, laundry experts, food shopping couriers, the school taxi and then in comes the other half – husband/partner expecting your ‘other’ role. It’s a hard life of routine. But for me, I challenge my family. I delegate that bit extra so that I do work on my priority jobs. I want to be Super Mum, but in my own way, not because I am 24/7 bloody robot zooming around.
As mums, we must ask for help sometimes. Whether that’s the other half, the older child or immediate family. Take away some of my smaller frustrating jobs – plates go in the dishwasher, dirty washing goes in the wash bin, toilet seat goes down, cups and glasses go back into kitchen etc etc – trust me its huge list in my house! I now have 10 Kitchen rules printed and posted on the fridge door. It works! Saves on nagging and saves me having to do certain tasks that I deem unnecessary for me to do – yes kids, plates go in the dishwasher, not in the sink!
But struggling to cope or do everything on your own, week in week out is not a life. It’s a miserable self-eroding existence. Do something spontaneous – family camping (even just for one night) let you’re so plan it in advance (in his own way of course) or everyone must contribute to a ‘The Big Family Picnic Day Out’. Make it a big special thing and let the family do their own bit to contribute. Have you noticed how kids are extra helpful around Christmas and their birthdays? You need to utilise that behaviour more often. With my husband it is so so simple – paint my nails sexy red, cleavage – OMG he will literally do anything for me. Which is fun and it is nice to be desired, but this about the family helping Super Mum.
Some mums literally do everything and even hold their husbands together. You are the real Super Mums. I just hope you are not kidding yourselves that that is a happy way to live your life. A husband/partner that works all week and then spends his weekends with friend and leaves his wife/partner at home with the kids – is wrong! When confronted most guys will say ‘I didn’t think’ – understandable as often these situations get like this over time. But as a Super Mum you can deal with this and make your own life easier and the family’s better in the process.