posted in Pregnancy
I left my 37 week pregnancy checkup feeling good about life. The baby was doing great, I felt great, and the nurse practitioner I met with (my doctor had been called into surgery) said everything was going perfectly. She mentioned that my doctor would call that afternoon or the next day to set an induction date for 2-3 weeks out so that, if I hadn’t had the baby by then, things would be set.
When I received a call from the hospital the following day to let me know my induction had been scheduled for about a week out, I totally freaked out. I hung up the phone, walked in the other room to tell my mom I would be having a baby in a week. Then proceeded to call my husband with the news. And then I broke down and cried.
I’ve spent the past few days trying to figure out why this upset me so much. Obviously my pregnancy is nearing the end and at some point this baby is coming. Maybe it’s just having someone else (besides the baby) decide when that time would be?
I honestly don’t know too much about induction (and I’m trying not to Google too much!) other than the fact that “well-meaning” friends keep telling me to avoid it if I can. Which is, of course, super helpful considering it’s already booked.
While I 100 percent want to do whatever my medical team advises to best ensure a healthy baby, I think maybe I just feel a little cheated by the whole thing. Here’s the reality of the situation: I’m only being induced 11 days before my actual due date. Here’s how I feel: I wanted my body and the baby to have the option to come any time it felt ready in those 11 days!
I’m a first time mom, so obviously I’m terrified of the entire labor experience. I really have tried to manage my expectations of pregnancy and labor and thought I had done a good job of not being too “set” on anything. Turns out that, whether I wanted to or not, I do have expectations. I want to go into labor on my own. I want to time my contractions and debate about when to leave for the hospital with my husband. I want to walk the halls of the hospital, trying to help labor along. I want to try different positions and techniques to help with pain before I make decisions about epidurals and pain medications.
And now with all the horror stories people can’t wait to share with me about inductions, all of that seems unlikely. (Does anyone have a good induction story to share with me? Please?!) Could I go into labor before my induction date? Sure. Is everything about labor and the birth of this baby completely out my control no matter how it goes down? Sure. Am I still a little bummed about all of this? Definitely.
My husband reminded me that it was OK for me to feel sad about it. It didn’t make me ungrateful for the pregnancy experience and that feeling like I was losing something was understandable. I don’t need to feel guilty for these thoughts, I just need to be open to the next few days and remember that my sweet baby will soon be in my arms, however it gets here.
Do you have an induction date set How do you feel about it?