posted in Pregnancy
As I gear up to give birth in a few hours/days/weeks, I can’t help but think about all the movies and shows in which pregnant characters go through labor and delivery, and it’s totally, completely unrealistic to the point of absurdity. I know it’s film and TV, but come on!
These things would never happen in real life…
Father of the Bride Part II – I love how Kimberly Williams, who plays Annie, wakes up in the middle of the night out of nowhere and feels a pang in her tummy. She says, “It’s time.”
Right. As if you have one contraction and you are sure your baby is coming. If only it were that easy! Instead, I’m over here timing contractions; intervals, duration, etc. Side note: the scene where Annie and her mom, played by Diane Keaton, are doing aerobics full-on, supposedly as they wait to go into labor? Um, no. I am almost 38 weeks along, and I can barely walk into the kitchen from the bedroom I’m so exhausted.
Nine Months – I always roll my eyes when Julianne Moore’s character’s water breaks in the restaurant (Hugh Grant thinks she broke her glass of water of course) and her contractions start that second. I know every labor is different, but when my water has broken in previous pregnancies, it takes time for things to ramp up. I guess it’s not as dramatic that way, though, so I get why movies exaggerate the onset of labor. No one would want to sit through a film where you watch someone labor in real time, unless they had like nine extra hours with nothing to do.
Friends – When Jennifer Aniston’s character Rachel is pushing, her doctor informs her that the baby is breech. I am not a medical expert, but wouldn’t they know this ahead of time, like when she’s examined for dilation and the doctor doesn’t feel the head? Again, I know the writers probably added this unlikely circumstance for dramatic effect, but it really just gives us superpregnant women something else to worry about.
Friends – When Monica’s surrogate finds out she’s pregnant with not just one baby, but two, while she is in the delivery room, I’m sorry, but I’m like, “This wouldn’t happen.” A nurse or doctor wouldn’t mention this at any point? I mean, when I have been admitted to the hospital during labor, they ask so many questions about your medical history and your pregnancy, you want to scream, “I’m having a baby! Can we go over this later?”
Sex and the City – Miranda delivers her son Brady and a second later, she’s totally fine. Like, phew, I just did 10 jumping jacks. Glad that’s over. Meanwhile, after pushing out a baby, I’m usually so tired, I feel half-dead. And overjoyed, of course.
On the flip side, the birth scene in Knocked Up is pretty damn spot-on. I love how Katherine Heigl is screaming bloody murder, which is seriously how I was in the delivery room. The only detail that didn’t feel real? How fast her character pushes her baby out. During my first delivery, the pushing phase lasted f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
In the end, again, everyone’s labor and delivery is unique. Including those of film and TV stars, who just happen to experience far more dramatic and implausible birth scenarios.